Thrust.

topper

thrust (verb) – /THrəst/ – push (something or someone) suddenly in the specified direction

According to Newton’s first law of motion, a body at rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion.

In other words, I could’ve let things rest. He could’ve let things rest. Instead, we both put this thing into motion, and it would remain in motion for 5 years.

For him, the thrust to get the ball rolling may have been any number of things. Maybe it was boredom or feeling unappreciated at home. Maybe he needed to feel like a young man again, virile and on the hunt for conquest. Maybe he was just a cad, womanizing for sex or ego’s sake.

For me, the thrust was purely emotional. I needed to be needed. I know that’s an awful reason to become involved with a married man. However, I am here to tell the truth. I was feeling incredibly rejected and unworthy. I still had a 2 foot scratch down my back from being assaulted. I needed refuge. I needed to be rescued.

For us, once the ball began rolling, it was hard to stop. He took me on business trips. He attended concerts in my town. He planned “boys trips” that so happened to include me. He bent over backwards to find ways to see me. At any point, I could have said “no”. I could have walked away. But when you are feeling out of control, that’s easier said than done.

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s